The Travel Blog Analog

For my loyal followers (you patient masses, you), I will be posting primarily on my travel blog from now until September. I am currently attending the Institute for Qualitative and Multi-Methods Research in Syracuse and will be traveling in Uganda from July 2 - August 13. Please refer to the travel blog for research updates, insights, travel experiences, and other news.

Thanks for checking in!

Travel Blog: Lars and Jennifer in Uganda

Facing Fears and Going Beyond

On my flight from Albuquerque to Chicago (en route to Syracuse), I was flipping through the in-flight magazine (as is customary during the pre-“approved electronics” period) and one article* in particular grabbed my attention. It is an article by Arielle Castillo entitled “Staying Strong.” The article chronicles the life of one man, Nick Scott, in his journey to overcoming the obstacles associated with losing the use of his legs. But Mr. Scott does more than overcome. He dominates.

Nick Scott lost the use of his legs when he was 18 due to a horrific vehicular accident. After some time living in the “dark and twisty” aftermath of his accident, Nick somehow found the courage and motivation to pull himself out. He began weightlifting and eventually became involved in the sport of wheelchair bodybuilding. Now 31, Mr. Scott has been involved (and performed very well) in several sports, including IPC Wheelchair Dance. The article goes in depth into how Nick was able to redefine his life and purpose, but one quote really hit home for me.

“To leave a legacy, you’ve got to do stuff that’s unheard of. You have to do the unthinkable and do the stuff you fear. That’s what this is about – pushing beyond.”

Lately, I feel that I have been taking the famous quote “Do one thing every day that scares you” to a literal extreme. I have taken many risks over the past six years, to my person and my career. Not every one of those risks has paid off in full, I’ll admit. But not once have I felt even an ounce of regret. I often ask myself why I push so hard, why I ask so much of myself, and why I can’t just be satisfied with achieving my mid-level goals. There are several answers.

First, in order to truly learn about oneself and about the world, one has to make mistakes. I didn’t understand this until I was almost out of college. My greatest fear growing up was failure. Because of this fear, I often shied away from opportunities and challenges. I desperately wanted more out of my life (U.S. Olympic Equestrian Team, marine biologist on one of Jacque Coustou’s famous vessels, Broadway actress, UNHCR Executive Director), but I was afraid that, in pursuing these dreams, that I would fail. And failure was not acceptable.

But as I made my way through my college career, tasting, for the first time, the feeling of having to own up to one’s strengths and weaknesses, I realized that failure (or, if you prefer, unsuccessful attempts), were truly learning experiences. I have learned more (and my future children will roll their eyes at this point when they receive this pep talk) from my mistakes and failures than I have from my successes.** And, knowing this, it is also true that, without risk-taking, without grabbing at opportunities at which you may have only a 20% chance of succeeding, you will not learn and you will not grow. Period.

Second, it is my personal belief that we are on this earth to enjoy all that we can, to celebrate each other, and to help one another when we see that there is a need. I used to think that human beings existed only as vessels for service to others, but as I have matured, I have come to appreciate that my personal happiness and satisfaction with my life is just as important as my service to others. In order to thoroughly appreciate the blessings in my life, in my experience as a member of the human race, therefore, I feel that it is my prerogative to educate myself about everyone else who is also a part of this human experience. And that type of learning can only happen when you reach beyond the borders of your comfort zone. One doesn’t necessarily have to physically place oneself in another culture or community. Rather, it is idea that, whatever your preconceived notions, whatever your subconscious prejudices, and whatever your creed, consider what may exist beyond those boundaries. If you possess a conviction, consider the counterfactual. This is not to say that you should not possess any strong convictions or attitudes about the world; indeed, you should. But in order to truly understand your own perspective, you must consider that of someone else.

I have been accused of waffling, of being “soft” or idealistic when it comes to certain issues. For instance, my studies often consider the combatant perspective of engaging in warfare, even when the conflict includes episodes of torture, rape, child abduction, and massacre. This is not to say that I side with combatants, or that I take pity on them. This is quite far from the truth. I am a staunch pacifist and opponent of the death penalty who believes that violence is never the last resort nor is it ever the appropriate response to any form of aggression.*** This is not to say that I have not had moments where I thought to reconsider this position. I am human, after all. And it is not to say that I do not appreciate the efforts of those who engage in combat.**** But the point is that, by considering the position and worldview of those who engage in violent conflict, I can better articulate my convictions with regards to peace and pacifism. In the long run, I hope that my queries into combatant behavior and motivation can inform programs and policies that prevent or stop conflict from occurring, as well as assist those who are transitioning from combatant life to civilian life. But in order to develop these new perspectives, in order to gain that knowledge, I have to take (prudent) personal and professional risks.

“To leave a legacy, you’ve got to do stuff that’s unheard of. You have to do the unthinkable and do the stuff you fear. That’s what this is about – pushing beyond.”

Nick Scott talks about leaving a legacy. To me, this means creating something, an idea or a path, that outlasts the creator. It means taking what one has learned and sharing it with others so that they may also benefit from that knowledge. It means being unselfish with one’s successes and mistakes. It means contributing to the betterment of humanity, no matter how big or small that contribution may seem. I want to leave a legacy for my students, for my family, for those who have graciously assisted me with my educational journey, for those who have experienced my failures right alongside of me, and for my future children. I want them to understand that fear is insightful, that taking chances is as important as daily exercise, that boundaries are meant to be explored with prudence, and that they are part of something much bigger than themselves.

So I say to you, reader, take a risk. Do the unthinkable. Face your fears. And push beyond. Your rewards will be innumerable.

*Arielle, Castillo. 2013. “Staying Strong.” American Way Magazine, June 15.

**I actually have an entire notebook dedicated to lessons I learned when things didn’t work out. It has been very useful on more than a few occasions.

***My greatest personal struggle has been with my attitude towards self-defense. Having had occasion to use it myself, I often wonder whether I am altruistically against the use of violence, or whether I believe that the use of violence must be taken into context. I have not yet come to a conclusion on this issue.

****I am and have been actively involved in several veterans associations, including the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund, Horses for Heroes, and the Wounded Warrior Project.